it's been a while since i last wrote. i apologize. sometimes real life really grabs onto that noose we all wear and doesn't let go.
apparently i've been working on this post since like 3 weeks ago. do i remember what i was going to write? nope. but we're winging it here.
life can throw you some unexpected turns and some big realizations. i'll recount many of them here... hopefully some bigger picture lessons will show up as well.
unexpected turn #1... my life mentor and college prof is getting sent to the middle east.
THIS IS SO OBNOXIOUS. terrible timing US Army... don't you realize us college seniors need our mentors?!?! my prof is more of my friend now, and he's been a life mentor for me. i get a lot of good advice from him. for a while he was hearing about orders for going overseas... then one day i got an email saying he's getting shipped out. my whole life literally stopped. my brain then decided to panic. tears streaming, heart going crazy, thoughts rushing through my head, i sat in my work office and stared at the email. what the hell was i going to do without him? he's given me great advice! he was going to help me figure out grad school! i sat there for a while being a panicked girl and then suddenly i stopped.
all i could think of was 2 movies... the lord of the rings (the fellowship) and harry potter (half-blood prince). all of a sudden i realized that like many adventure books, life fits perfectly into the hero outline. my mentor had to go in order for me to grow (and for him to grow). so far, he hasn't had to leave yet... massive amounts of praying (this is unlike me... i'm a spiritual person rather than religious... so i guess it was more of a good vibes thinking thing) and orders being messed up have stalled the shipping off process.
in all, this situation has reminded me of a lesson i first learned in buddhist meditation classes: you yourself are the one controller of your life. you make yourself happy. this lesson has stuck with me, and it made me realize that independence and learning on your own is very very important. without being on your own, you will never be fully satisfied.
Unexpected turn #2... my boyfriend quit smoking.
yea, you read that right. after 3 years of smoking, he finally did it. sunday was his official 2 weeks without a cigarette and he's going strong. i'm so proud of him.
my life lesson in this: patience pays off. he quit for himself. which is a beautiful thing and why it's working. my realization before that getting people to stop smoking isn't something you can push for, was right.
i'm a happy kid now that he's not smoking. no more ashtray mouth! :)
Big Work Lesson #1: TIME MANAGEMENT IS REALLY IMPORTANT
sometimes, you get this really awesome project to do that you're really into. it has all these deadlines but you're so into one part of it that the deadlines somehow disappear. that happened to me. i had to create this booklet, and low and behold when i tried to print it the day before it was due... it failed. i got the booklets printed for opening day, but i still learned the hard lesson that time management (and not forgetting your thumbdrive at your other office) is very important.
Big Work (and Life!) Lesson #2: Chill the fuck out.
when you screw up, chill out. take a breather. (sorry for the language!) your anxiety and freaking out is NOT helping anything. take a step back. pause. breathe. remember that, ok? it'll help. i promise.
There was more to this... but alas I can't remember. plus i was outside all morning in the 90+degree weather... and i'm sick. who get's sick in the summer? *shakes head and walks away*
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