grad school and relationships

i was originally going to write about how i'm still lacking in time management skills... but for now i'll skip that. life has been too interesting to talk about that.

as my graduation from undergrad sneaks closer (may 2012! woohoo!), my brain continues to FREAK OUT about the changes that are about to go on in my life

I've decided to wait a year before i try to get into grad school. because of my awesome internship, i had no time to research schools or study and take the GREs. So in the next year I'll be studying and taking my GRE's and hopefully finding someone to intern or work for until i get into grad school.

Apparently, for science people like myself, it's best to email or talk to the person that you think you'd work well with at the university of your choice before you apply for the program. They will tell you if they have money and/or space for you or not. Then, sometimes they pretty much take you under their wing (if they want you enough) and you go from there.

I'm a little nervous about starting this communication, but I need it. Because even if I'm not going to grad school next fall, they may have other research projects that I could be assistance in. That way there I'll have work and experience and a chance to get to see how the science world works.

But then my conscious kicks in... and my main squeeze looks at me and says "What are you doing when you graduate? *hint, move in with me! hint*." Or he starts saying "Maybeeee you could find a grad school close to here?". And my heart melts. I start to think about what I'm going to do with my relationship if I move away.

I have to move away. It's been my dream to get out of New England for a while now. Grad school is the perfect way to do it. I feel selfish saying that and just running from my relationship, but I know if it's meant to be it will work out. He can survive anyway. And we both need to grow up before that happens.

But I imagine this is a conflict that many potential grad students have as they're preparing to go off to school in some other state... My advice- do what you have to do to make your life what you want it to be. Your relationship will survive if it's meant to. Now is the perfect time to be selfish.