The high of all of it: going to Costa Rica for two weeks
The low of all of it: Getting broken up with at the airport
But with all of this comes many life lessons.
Costa Rica! Where my heart now lies. What a beautiful place. I'd recommend it to anyone. Everyone should go there. And while they're there, they should help reforestation efforts.
It was a beautiful country, full of lush forests, and tons of biodiversity. Pura Vida, as they say it... basically pure life, as in, life is good, and well wishes. But I was surprised at the amount of open land there was. Forests are just starting to come back, and with conservation efforts they're coming along... but man... what a heartbreak to see some of this. The difference between natural forest and fields is black and white, but in Costa Rica... it's worse. Thousands of species disappear when the forest gets cut down. Wow.
You have no idea how much I'd give to go back. I'm probably going to try and get a job down there, or go do grad school research down there. It was amazing. I would seriously turn my life upside down to move there.
When I was down there, I made a lot of realizations about myself. Like, I do want to travel and get out of the country. I do want to do bio and conservation. But I was also wracked with the realization that my relationship was going off the deep end with only a toothpick to help it float.
Then, the night I came home, my boyfriend picked me up at the airport, and broke up with me in the car. I was heartbroken... even though on the inside, I knew it had to happen. It had to... our lives did not mesh. He wasn't putting enough into the relationship... and he knew it. That's why he had to leave. He said he didn't want to hurt me anymore and he didn't want to stay in a relationship when he couldn't put 100% in. He said it hurts him so much to leave when he loves me so much. But he didn't want to hurt me anymore.
As these days are going by, I'm realizing more and more how necessary it was for us to break up. It wasn't going to work for long with the way our lives are and how opposite we are. It saddens me. It hurts. It confuses me. I didn't want to admit that it needed to happen... but it did.
I respect Will for having that much strength to leave someone he's in love with because he can't put enough in. But it also kills me... because we both still have feelings for each other... it makes it hard to just walk away.
But, what everyone is telling me is that in time, realizations and healing will come.
My friend Gina gave me some of the best advice... and it doesn't just apply to me, it applies to everyone...
Just make sure you realize that even though it hurts like hell, don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Above all else, you need to be happy and if it takes you time to figure out who that is that will make you happy, that’s ok. Take as much time as you need to figure it out. Everything doesn’t have to be solved tonight. ~Gina
It hurts, but pain will pass. Realization and comfort will come. Someday, Mr Right will come along...
The future is unwritten. Make it yours.
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