My religion is nature. It's the feeling that everything is connected. You, me, the trees, animals, our earth, space, the stars. Everything. I don't try to fit myself into the very specific outlines of what each religion tells us what their followers should be.
In fact, this past Christmas, I went to church (Catholic, local.), and sat there, feeling singled out. Alone. Unwelcome. Even as the priest welcomed "Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Transgenders, blue people, green people, male, female, adult, child, everyone", I sat there feeling like I am not welcome. Maybe it was me, maybe I was feeling sorry for being there and offending the people who were there for a reason. I only went because my mom makes me go to ONE mass a year, I chose Christmas. I like Christmas mass because people are happy... and Christmas is the day my Grandfather passed away. That day my biggest mentor, was taken away. I knew he had to go, but it still hurts. That's why I go on Christmas, because he always went with us. But now... I feel unwelcome there.
Maybe I just belong in the woods. That's where I feel welcome. My heart feels full. I know from the smells, the feelings, the light and dark, that I'm whole. I'm real. I'm here for a reason. I know to treat everyone and everything the way I treat myself. I don't feel judged in the woods, in Nature. I don't feel like I have to fit into some pre-made mold.
The reason I'm writing about this is because when my life starts getting chaotic, and I start feeling a bit off... I pull out an old card I got for my high school graduation. It's from one of the family's that I was their go-to babysitter. Their two children were amazing. Beautiful, smart, educated, polite, learned, wonderful children. God fearing, but little scientists who were interested in everything about the world. (As you can see, when I watch children, I watch them as if they were mine, I treat them like I would my children, I give them all the love and attention and the boundaries they need). Anyways, this family was also very prominent in our church. The mother understood that I had a different view of the faith, but still loved me and was open to my beliefs. In this card, the most memorable line that I turn to, is her writing "You are truly a 1 Cor 13: 4-7 woman". To this day, 9 years from the day she gave me the card, I still tear up when I read it. For those of you who don't know this verse, my favorite version is from the English Standard Version of the Bible:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
English Standard Version (ESV)4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Even though I don't see myself as a Christian, nor a follower of any sort of mainstream religion, this verse is one that I can proudly say that I try to live up to. It's been a light in my life. It's beautiful. It says so much to me. I'm actually planning on getting " 1 Cor 13: 4-7" as a tattoo on my inner forearm, hopefully soon.
I wish others could be more like I am, in the way that I don't judge others for their faith, I don't shove mine in their face, I don't try to change their beliefs. I can take verses from the Bible, the Qu'ran, the Dharma, and others, and apply them to life. Live through them. Know that all religions (obviously asides from those who follow a dark path) teach to love and care for fellow brothers and sisters.
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